I get the feeling it will be very cold outside. Eventually we arrive at the last room and I comment that it's getting uncomfortably hot and maybe it's time to go. This seems to have something to do with my companion, but I'm not sure what the rules are and I have to intuitively work out what each step towards success will be. At certain points I use the screens to play a kind of game. At one point we eat a meal and he tells me how annoying it is when the servers try to clear up before he's finished, which a male server then does, trying, jokingly, to take a plate from the table. My male companion is in a rather irritable mood. The people are strangely dressed and seem to be engaged mainly in trying to impress each other with their style.
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There are a series of rooms or caverns and the walls are lined with screens. We are travelling through a long tunnel or tube like place which reminds me of a spaceship or possibly a high-tech underground structure of some kind. Finally I left the house and got lost trying to navigate the roads in my chair. At another point I left the bedroom and found that the rest of the house was decorated in the same style but was much cleaner and tidier.
At one point I embraced the person sitting in the bed and when I did that my irritation about the untidiness eased, it didn't seem to matter so much. I was in a wheelchair, although that didn't seem to be of any importance, except that parts of it got detached and I was afraid they might get lost among all the untidy piles of stuff. The room was decorated in a kind of boho or hippy style with bright coloured rugs and throws. All around the bed were stacks of dusty items. Someone was sitting up in the bed and I had an impression of someone behind him I couldn't see clearly. When I thought no one was looking I cleaned up an area but I was afraid I might throw away something useful, so I stopped. I was in a room, a bedroom, which was very untidy and I felt irritated by that and wanted to clean it up, but it wasn't mine. At one point in one of the dreams a figure appeared and reminded me that all confusion and fear was self-generated and could be made to disappear simply by remembering that fact. There was a notice pinned to the wall beside my front door which I tore off to reveal a hole gouged into the wall, my feeling was that this was an attempt to mark my location but still I went inside and quite casually took a shower, and only after emerging from it I realised that the front door wouldn't shut properly but my reaction was mild irritation rather than fear.
A cat was being subjected to some kind of experiment, its head in a vice and very little left of its body, I was initially disturbed but then there was the realisation that no animal could possibly survive in such circumstances and it was clearly alive so what I was being presented with was simply impossible. I left a place where I had been an actor playing a part and turned back to discuss the part with a character who also appeared to be playing that same part, getting the sense that I was being drawn into a web of uncertainty about who and what was real, and yet I was able to walk away from it with no difficulty. I was being pursued but then turned and looked back and dared the pursuer to catch up with me, which they did not. Most of these images and sequences were the sort of things that would occur in nightmares but my reaction to them was not fear but a sort of ridicule and disbelief. They have consisted of disjointed images and sequences that made little or no sense in narrative terms.
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I haven't been sure how to record the dreams I've had lately. For example, being empathic and sensitive might be a useful skill for most doctors in interactions with patients but a disadvantage in a field hospital in a war zone, where being somewhat tough or even callous might get important things done more efficiently. Also that what is a strength in one circumstance can be a weakness in different circumstances.
Encouraged by this success I went on to lay claim to the description of being 'sensitive' as a positive trait, even though the term is often used in a disparaging way, asking if he really thought that being 'insensitive' was a better way to be than being empathic.Īs I was doing this I realised that the words we use carry more or less subtle signals of approval or disapproval as well as meaning, and that we can change our own as well as other people's perceptions by choosing to use different language. I was very pleased with myself having found a way to convince J (someone I find to be extroverted in a particularly infuriating way) that being introverted was not a problem, just a difference, it was a different and equally useful set of skills.
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